does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
