A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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