Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
