I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
