i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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