i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
