if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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