Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
