if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
