Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
3 2 1 whiskey
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
