We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
