Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
