whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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