well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
