apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
2020 sucks, I want a refund
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
