Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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