the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I want her autograph on my taint
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize