he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
