It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize