they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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