I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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