talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
