Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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