IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
