i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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