no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
