he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We had sex on a dog bed..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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