Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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