It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
