***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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