I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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