What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
