Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
false alarm. still invincible.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Come on in and take your pants off
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