i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
