call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
