Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
