I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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