So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
