Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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