dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
