Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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