I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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