He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
