What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
