People with herpes should wear stickers.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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