Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
