Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
