maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
