Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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