I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
