I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
