that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
