I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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