I don't think brook has ever known best
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
