she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
