Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
