a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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