your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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