So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So many bounce houses so little time
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
