dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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