Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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