I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
